Snozzberries taste like wha?

Life lesson:

If you’re too tired to do something right, all the sworn avowals in the world don’t matter a damn when you just have to redo it the next day after gaping in horror at the rotten fruits of your own labor.

Yesterday I had a whirlwind day. Two resumes, a ton of e-mails to catch up on, and yet somehow I managed to write 4,000+ words on Shadow’s Voice. I promised myself that hell or high water, before bed I’d rewrite my query for Shadow’s Breath from scratch, focusing on something punchier that captures the dry humor in Ken’s voice without getting as bogged down in adjectives as the old one. By 11:00p I was practically drunk on my own tiredness, but I sat down and wrote the query anyway. Last night I thought it was okay – in need of some minor editing, but okay.

This morning I took one look at it and let out the mental equivalent of a shrill horror movie scream. It was horrible, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. It got the basic ideas I wanted down, but the writing was so loose, clunky, and disjointed that the ideas got lost in a mess that was the literary version of teeth on unglazed porcelain. I’ve since rewritten it, fresh and bright after breakfast and a short work day, and the difference is amazing. Complete 180. I don’t think it’s the best query letter in the world, but it’s better than what I’ve been using and can’t even be compared to what I wrote last night. I should have just waited until this morning and saved myself the extra work.

Thankfully the pages of SV held up better under scrutiny, but those were written earlier in the day when I was still energetic and bushy-tailed. Chapter one’s almost done; just one short scene away, I think, though I want to work out how to end the chapter on some kind of tension. I also jotted down a few later scenes introducing a new character: Jordan, who already has both Anji and Amanda’s inner thirteen-year-olds all a-flutter. I think I like Jordan, though I’m still working out a few things about his base character and personality. Roman will most definitely hate him. Once I figure out those unresolved things on his personality, that’ll determine whether he hates Roman too, or if he’s just so charming he can’t even dislike that surly little monkey.

I’ve got this whole afternoon to write and am determined to stop wasting the time I have, so off I go. Before I do, though, this post is amazing. It actually made me cry, if only because it resonated so much with the frustrations I’ve been suppressing lately in an effort to stay cheerful and positive during the long, confidence-shredding road towards publishing. It’s just great to see a published author speaking so sympathetically and so frankly of (and to) her younger self’s doubts, mistakes, optimism, disappointment…everything every aspiring author goes through. It’s great inspiration to keep your head above water, keep trying, and keep a sensible head on your shoulders.