Why I Said No: One Editor’s First Experience With the Slush Pile

So as I said in my last post, I’m now a traitor (if you ask Kerry, Michelle, Janet, and Jeffe, anyway – I see ya’ll over there). I’ve crossed over to the other side, and am now an editor for a small publisher. I not only work on refining accepted manuscripts, but also review submitted manuscripts waiting in the publisher’s slush pile. We’re always looking for great new manuscripts in the submissions pool, and it’s part of my job to throw in my two cents on acceptance or rejection.

That’s right, I said it. The R word. Dreaded, hateful, but inevitable, it’s something I’ve dealt with often enough from a writer’s perspective. It’s a little strange from the other side of the desk, and frankly it sheds an interesting light on the entire process when I think of sending my own books out to agents or publishers. When I look at my own work I now try to see it as another editor would, weighing its merits and seeking out its flaws with a more detached eye. Honestly, I think it would do most writers good to spend just a month reading through the slush pile at a publishing house or literary agency to really hone your critical perceptions.

But since not everyone can do that, I thought I’d share my first week of wading through the slush. Not to be cruel to the authors, or to embarrass them; any identifying specifics have been removed so not even the authors themselves could tell if any of these refer to them, and this is just a small sample from the overall submissions pool so it’s a bit of a roulette as far as which ones I chose. Despite a tendency towards overt honesty and tactless dissection, I don’t want to hurt or humiliate anyone; I’m just offering a glimpse of what goes through my head as I review, and an idea of what factors led to my final vote – not just the negative comments, but the positive ones as well.

The process:
For every submission I read the query, the synopsis, and the first and last chapters. Generally I can tell about halfway through the synopsis if a story’s just not for me, if it’s not right for the publisher (Lyrical publishes genre fiction, primarily with romantic or erotic themes), if it’s starting to fall apart, or if the story and writing suffer from problems that just can’t be blamed on the fact that synopses exist to torture authors, editors, and agents alike. Still, the chapter review gives them a chance to surprise me – to grip me so thoroughly I don’t want to put the story down. If the first and last chapters look solid and the synopsis offers hope of a well-constructed plot, I skim through the rest from beginning to end to look for major deal-breakers and mentally note any issues that could make me lean toward no, but aren’t killing it yet.

Only if it passes that trial do I stop and make the time for an in-depth read from beginning to end, in the hopes of saying yes.

I haven’t said yes yet – but here’s my commentary from ten instances where I had to say no.

The Rejections:

1. Interesting premise, but feels contrived and a bit unfinished; the synopsis indicates that some plot threads are closed off messily or simply as an afterthought when they’re no longer convenient. Writing is fairly solid in technical construction, but lacks style or an engaging voice. Could be workable, but would require a great deal of author/editor collaboration to tighten up the prose and give it a decent hook. As a whole, it didn’t really pull me in.

2. Bill Engvall calls himself “15 degrees off cool.” I love him anyway. This author’s story is 15 degrees off right, but I kind of like the idea anyway. It has promise, although I admit I was fairly lukewarm on the idea and probably would have skipped reading a sample if not for a good hook. The synopsis starts off strong, but doesn’t deliver on its promises; the plot seems to get lost with characters whose behavior erases any chance of empathizing with them. Looking through the first chapter, there’s a strong voice, good characterization, but very poor technical execution and sloppy prose (and some painful comma abuse), as well as a tendency to use words that aren’t quite what the author means. Overall it just doesn’t work, but I wish it did. The idea really interested me, but I think the author should have done some major paring, rewriting, and strengthening before submitting.

3. Keep wavering between hot and cold on this one. I love this genre, so that caught me…but just reading the quick outline made me say “And…? Is that all?” (Which could be a good thing or a bad thing, as it did leave me wanting more.) Unfortunately the synopsis did the same. Although it clears up some questions, it feels lacking in substance and impetus once it nears the end – as if the author got close to the end and said “screw it, let’s just be done with it.” Which is a shame, as I think the concept is strong enough to hold up when written well – although it is a little derivative and the conclusion seems to come too easily. The writing’s mechanical, but can be fixed with variations in structure. There’s a lot of potential, but there’s also a chance it’ll fizzle badly and require a lot of work, especially in the latter half.

4. It drew me, but something’s rather off about it. I couldn’t help but wonder why the author chose this perspective. I’m honestly not sure what to make of the style. It’s very literary and atmospheric, but suffers from poorly fleshed-out characters. I’m…puzzled by the story, to say the least. Very intrigued, yet at the same time a bit put off. It seems a bit stereotypical, and the main characters seem detached from from the conflict. And even though it’s interesting, I don’t think Lyrical’s the right market.

5. I’m already shaking my head before even opening the docs. Heavy, heavy, heavy. I love a weighty story with some good meat and a penchant for subtlety in conflict rather than outright slap-dash action, but this just takes it too far. It’s dry, very dry. Too much navel-gazing, not enough actual story. It’s too bad, because the prose is good, the voice strong, though it’s repetitive – and I think the author is a little shaky on perspective. Entirely not suited for Lyrical.

6. So derivative of other published novels that it borders on generic and wanders dangerously close to plagiarism. Plus the plot seems to peter out in the last third; an attempt to create tangled threads just makes a muddle that loses my interest. I rather enjoyed the writing style, though; it’s clear and fairly well-paced, and with editing could make for a tight, strong voice. I’d be willing to take a look at a more original revision.

7. Couldn’t get past the first page. The technical problems hinted at in the query and the synopsis just exploded in the story itself, along with a much larger dose of Mary Sue than I can generally handle. Too much backstory, and no appeal whatsoever. Might work for someone who really loves the concept, but it’s not for me.

8. Strong voice, compelling, an entertaining and funny homage to its genre. I haven’t had time to read through the whole thing so I can’t say for certain without a synopsis, but if the rest of the book lives up to the promise in the first and last few chapters I’d say yes – although there are some issues in the last few chapters that need clearing up, as this is another one that peters out towards the end. Too much exposition, not enough action, and the wrap-up is a bit inconclusive. Really would need to see the synopsis to give a solid stamp of approval.

(Note: yes, this is still a no. If I don’t see a synopsis to tell me there’s something worth reading in the meat of the book, I don’t have hours to spend digging to find out. Not everyone uses synopses, but when they’re the only thing standing between you and a full they’re evil, maddening little lifesavers. Sometimes I might be able to set aside time for a full read before a submission rotates out, but when I’ve got production schedule deadlines looming that won’t always be the case. I won’t always have time to give people the benefit of the doubt without the synopsis to justify the effort.)

9. The setup picked me up, gave me hope, then dropped me on my face. All this buildup to gloss over the central plot? Don’t do that to me; my fragile heart can’t handle it.

There are stereotypes that could easily alienate readers. The author can write, but can’t tell a story. There’s no plot here; just events. The symbolism is much too overwrought, a flimsy skeleton that can barely support a story that didn’t have much meat to start with. I’d pass.

10.Totally the wrong genre. MG or YA pitched as adult, when the voice and storyline aren’t even remotely suitable. The synopsis spatters events together with little connection, yet for such a busy story nothing of significance to the plot seems to happen very often. The writing takes a lot of risks, but lacks the technical ability and style to support any boldness.

Pass.

Well, hope that’s been enlightening (or that you at least found my sad attempts at humor somewhat amusing). Who knows, I might do this again at some point – but for now I’m signing off, and hoping that next time I dive into the slush pile I’ll find something that makes me say “yes, yes, a thousand times yes.”

Disclaimer: This post does not represent the opinions or commentary of other Lyrical Press editors or employees. These comments are my opinions only; the comments of other editors are private and confidential, and should not be inferred from my statements. In other words, we’re different people with different thoughts on why stories do and do not work, so don’t assume that my decision to publicize my thoughts means my comrades in slush would say the same things.

Ready, set? Okay!

Now that yesterday’s WTF inanity is out of the way: the good news.

Yesterday I signed on as a Content Editor for Lyrical Press.

Basically, that means I help authors shape their manuscripts into the best work possible prior to publication, and work with authors for the duration of their careers with Lyrical. I also get to participate in acquisitions, along with the rest of the editing team. It’s not a full-time gig, but it’s one that makes me happy; I love editing. Plus I get to work with the ever-so-fabulous Amanda. (Who’s probably giving me dirty looks right now.)

Lyrical publishes a rather broad range of genre fiction, but primarily romance of some sort or another, ranging from fantasy to paranormal to realism and more. I don’t have my first author yet – but I’m still getting myself oriented with Lyrical’s processes and standards, and meeting the group. Don’t be surprised if, once I do start working with my first author, I start pimping his or her books like mad.

…promise I’ll try not to shill too much, though. Ahem.

But yeah, that was my good news. I’m torn between wiggling happily and being utterly overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I need to read just to get started.

Definitely wiggling.

Blog awards?

Okay, looks like I’ve now been tagged for two blog awards and have been entirely lazy in doing something about that, probably because they’re basically memes from hell and “doing something” requires an hour of cadging post bits together. I normally ignore these things and fully expect 75% of those tagged to do the same, but this time I indulged in an effort to not be such an antisocial grouch. (Though the next person to dump one of these on me is dead. I will hunt you down and slap you with fish. Cold, slimy fish.) Allison tagged me for the first: the Sunshine Award, which is…well…c’mon. You guys know me. That’s hilarious. Irony abounds. Rules for the award:

*Put the logo on your blog in your post.
*Pass the award onto 12 bloggers.
*Link the nominees within your post.
*Let the nominees know they have received this award by commenting on their blogs.
*Share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award.

It took me a while to actually stop and say, “Wait…out of all the blogs I read, do I actually bloody well talk to a dozen of those people?” Surprisingly, the answer was yes. So here are the twelve people I’m passing the award on to:

1. Anji and her crew over at Cinema Chicks: http://cinemachicks.wordpress.com/
2. Kerry: http://uppington.wordpress.com/
3. Carrie: http://www.carrieclevenger.com/
4. Janet: http://muffintopmommy.wordpress.com/
5. Jinxie: http://jinxiesbabblingblogs.blogspot.com
6. Sabrina: http://coffeequill.blogspot.com/
7. Jennifer: http://www.jenniferambrose.blogspot.com/
8. Lessa: http://gonfalon.org/eclat/
9. Jeffe: http://lovepowerandfairytaleendings.blogspot.com/
10. H.C. Zuerner, also known as the scary hungry kitty: http://kittysbleedingwords.blogspot.com/
11. Wookie’s Girl: http://www.blogger.com/profile/07726231846622344573
12. Slush Pile Hero: http://slushpilehero.wordpress.com

Next, the…uh…”Creative Writer” award, emphasis on the quotes. Which I guess is accurate, since the stories we tell are a big mess of lies. They’re just enjoyable, intricate lies. The rules are a little more complex for this one:

1.)I am to thank the person who tagged me,

2.)Copy and paste the award on my blog,

3.)link to the person who nominated me,

4.)Tell up to 6 lies about myself and one truth.

5.)Tag at leasr 7 people for this award. I tagged 8 because the whole “7″ thing was getting redundant and I despise redundancy.

6.)Post links to their blogs

7.) Comment on each of their blogs to inform them of the nomination.

So, thank you Annarkie. My (sometimes snarky) six lies and one truth, and you get to guess which one is the truth:

1. My name is actually Adrien Luc-Sanders, not Adrien-Luc Sanders. I’m really a woman who married a man with the last name Sanders, but wanted to keep my maiden last name of Luc.

2. I am entirely neurotic about walking on floors in bare feet. As in, I refuse to put my feet in the bed if they’ve touched the floor, because they might contaminate the sheets.

3. Once I came two tequilas away from getting married in Brazil. To a woman.

4. When I was a little boy, I fantasized about having Superman for a boyfriend.

5. I once accepted a dare to eat a live lizard.

6. I’ve left weird things hidden in various places in every apartment I’ve lived in, just to freak out the next renters.

7. I’m really Billy Joel.

And now for my list of seven bloggers to pass the award to:

1. Allison, who bled sunshine all over me. http://mynfel.blogspot.com
2. Kerry, who has a bloody sunflower for her Twitter icon. http://uppington.wordpress.com/
3. Carrie, who rhymes with Kerry but writes bloody stories. No sunshine or sunflowers. http://www.carrieclevenger.com/
4. Janet, also known as MuffinTopMommy, whose Twitter icon sometimes looks like a flower. http://muffintopmommy.wordpress.com/
5. Jinxie, because I’m running out of ways to link these and figured a J-name would work. http://jinxiesbabblingblogs.blogspot.com
6. Sabrina, because her blog name makes me want coffee (and she’s one of my closest friends, not just a fellow writer). http://coffeequill.blogspot.com/
7. Jennifer, just because I like her and completely gave up on the thematic thing. http://www.jenniferambrose.blogspot.com/

…at least I could use part of my list of a dozen for the list of seven, just with a few embellishments.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a crap ton of comments to leave. ~groans~ I have some other good news to share, too, but I’ll save that for tomorrow after I’m done with some paperwork.

So…

…it’s almost mid-February. Is anyone surprised that my outgoing Christmas cards are still sitting on the kitchen counter, addressed and waiting to be stamped and sent out?

Since when does tight ass = tight story?

Similar to my post about the ever-so-clever fellow offering a literary agent a 50% commission deal via Craigslist (and setting himself up for scammers), I’ve been boggling over the recent rash of Craigslist posts seeking a literary agent. I even saw one hokey-looking agency post seeking authors and screenwriters, one that screamed “scam” in flashing red lights. But this one…oh, this one does indeed take the (cheese) cake.

Female Writer Looking Agent (NYC)
Date: 2010-02-05, 12:50PM EST
Reply to: gigs-nbh2m-1587342071@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Talented, sexy up and coming Writing is Looking for a NO Bullshit Agent.

She has many short stories already written.

A novel in the works…that could easily be turned into a trilogy.

Notes for a mini soap opera for Spanish TV

As well as a draw filled with notes for other books

If your looking for a fresh, new & edgy writer then look no further

# Location: NYC
# it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
# Compensation: TBD

I’m going to sidestep the obvious problems with this “Writing’s” so-called talent and put my red pen down before I end up leaving permanent marks all over my screen. I’m also going to ignore the fallacy in looking for an agent on Craigslist; I’ve covered that already. Instead, ponder this:

What does her gender or physical attractiveness have to do with her ability as a writer?

Gender can play a strong role in an author’s platform as a woman writing about women’s issues, gender issues, feminism, and any number of other subjects where the perspective of a strong female writer is a selling point (there are entire shelves in bookstores reserved for these kinds of books).

But somehow I get the feeling this isn’t what our illustrious Craigslister intends.

This young lady, fresh and edgy up-and-comer that she is, wants to sell herself on sex appeal.

Not on the strength of her writing, not on the value of her story, but on being young, sexy, and fresh.

This is the same misguided sentiment that causes writers to include headshots with their queries, rather like the Bon Jovi look-alike who left so many agents tickled a few weeks ago. It’s the same lack of understanding of the industry and lack of interest in self-educating that leads writers to post on Craigslist when they should be building a strong query letter and sending it to individual agents.

And it’s the same ignorance that’s going to get this poor girl disappointed when she finds out her C-cups probably won’t sell her novels, short stories, or soap opera.

Now, I won’t pretend that some agents and publishers wouldn’t use an author’s sex appeal to sell books. But frankly that’s a bonus, sprinkles on the cupcake that an agent or publisher might use if it’s there, but won’t care about when making decisions about a book’s value. The only things that will matter are the words on the page. Not that Roman nose or mile-long eyelashes; not the tight ass or the legs that go on forever. You can’t sashay your way into a publishing contract. And you can’t tell someone you’re hot and talented, and have good ideas.

You have to show them your talent. (Your talent, not your cleavage.) You have to show them a finished product that makes them care about your story, and show an understanding of the industry that makes them happy to work with you as a client. Believe it or not, most people want you for your brains…not your body.

Your appearance is not a selling point. Your story is.

So write the best story you can. Write something worth selling, that will have more lasting merit than fleeting, shallow physical traits.*

…and then dear lord, child, learn to proofread. Seriously. Did you even glance at the post before you hit “submit”?

 

 

*You know, I’d do the nice thing and contact her, give her a little gentle nudge towards AgentQuery and AbsoluteWrite and many other wonderful sites that explain the proper way to obtain an agent, but I’ve found more than once that it tends to bite me in the ass.